Why stubbornness is good

When there is overwhelming evidence that we are wrong, but we still insist on staying our own course, we must ask ourselves what motivates us to dig our heels in. What is happening in our inner world? Conversely, when dealing with a stubborn person, we should not be fooled by outside appearances. Stubborn people may seem invincible, but there is a huge difference between a strong person and a stubborn person. Stubbornness is often a sign of insecurity and a way to hold on to a very fragile mental equilibrium.

Truly strong people know how to compromise when necessary. Stubborn people are often fearful of change, which explains the rigidity that characterises much of their behaviour. At an unconscious level, they perceive attempts to change their mind as personal attacks.

Thus, they are always on their guard, lashing out at anyone who tries to question their ideas. Instead of accepting new information or entertain the possibility that someone else could be right, they prefer to argue their original point of view. Their insecurities make them ideal candidates for confirmation bias, i.

Stubbornness also touches on the dynamics of power. When stubborn people perceive a threat to their dignity, honour or pride, they may resort to power games in which there can only be winners and losers. With a preference for simplistic, black-and-white thinking, devoid of uncertainty or disagreement, they are often prejudiced and resort to stereotyping.

Embedded opinions in these areas are the hardest to change, as they are more subject to personal judgment and idiosyncratic interpretation. One can just think about Brexit, an issue around which political and economic ideologies have trumped reason. Because stubbornness contributes to interpersonal conflict, stubborn people sometimes see a need to change. In most instances, trying to change by themselves will be hard. If they do seek help — whether from a significant other, family member, friend, colleague or professional advisor — this individual had better possess a generous dose of empathy.

The first step is to understand the story behind the stubbornness. This involves uncovering some of the experiences that led to this maladaptive behaviour. Be wrong more often. Your personal development requires it. Stubborn people lash out at those who challenge their ideology. This is very common in comment threads. This is not an ethical tactic. Regular people are just as guilty as shady politicians.

If you want to become a critical thinker, you need to stick with the facts. Stubborn people only read news from sources that confirm their biases. This behavior is most common in religious people. This allows them to willfully ignore any facts that make it harder to believe in their higher power of choice. This behavior is also common in political partisans. A liberal might avoid reading reports about how government inefficiencies result in wasteful spending, while a conservative might pass on a study that reveals government intervention improved the economy.

Individuals know when you are just talking about growth or change with no growth or change. Be real and substantive.

If you are doing things the same way this year as you did two years ago, you may be stubborn. When you have an inkling of stubbornness, replace it with fortitude.

Fortitude is strength of character to navigate difficult situations with grace and courage. In our society, we are missing grace and moral courage. Fortitude grows in strength as new information is absorbed and new collaborative energy is untapped. When leaders incite this type of fortitude, positive change materializes. Fortitude gives us more than survival; it releases momentum to thrive.

If people around you are timid and worthy initiatives are often scrapped, you may be a stubborn leader. How do you avoid being a stubborn individual? Be a leader who demonstrates real perseverance , patience, growth, and fortitude.

Be a leader who avoids using stubbornness as an excuse for having a backbone. A real leader has the backbone of perseverance, patience , growth, and fortitude. Stubbornness is just a self-importance crutch. Join the Discussion. Your email address will not be published. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Assertiveness vs. Aggression Many mistake assertiveness as aggression, but asserting yourself is a perfectly healthy and normal behavior.

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